crazy work

Crazy day at work today, at the Photo Counter. Machines breaking down and customers innocently asking, “but why can’t I have my photos in one hour?” Because the machines don’t work. I am going to move to Nebraska soon, or maybe start my own country off the coast of…

Post-College Career Options

Having just graduated college and not sure what to do, these just might be the options I am vaguely entertaining…                     ± Florist. ± Bartender. ± Photo specialist (the path of least resistance). ± Satire writer. ± “Braille Proofreader” (it…

Notes from College

So I’ve been gnawing at a block of chocolate all day, and think I’ve finally stripped my teeth of all that useless enamel. Also, I entered the bad-writing contest here at school, but didn’t write badly enough to win… lose? win?… oh, the shame! In class today, all twenty…

RATS: a EULA for your new textbook

You agree to the terms of this End User License Agreement (EULA) when you unwrap this Book. If you disagree, immediately return the Book to your campus Bookstore. Yet because your professor requires this book, you must agree. This is an agreement between Resource and Textbook Suppliers (hereafter “RATS”)…

A Cedar Point Summer

“Thank you for calling Cedar Point Central Reservations, my name is Celia. How may I help you?” Yep, this summer I took a job at Cedar Point, an amusement park in Sandusky, Ohio. Sandusky is a lake town with one Wal-mart, 53 hotels, 10 bars, 43 churches (more on…

News from College

Today’s Stats: Calories burned on the exercise machines in the dorm basement: 100. Calories eaten today: 1800ish. Part of that which is composed of yummy leftover Halloween chocolates and fried foods: 90%. Classes attended: 2. Classes I actually stayed focused in: 0. Classes in which my teachers still, mysteriously,…